I would like to tell you my personal story from which I learned great lessons that I am sharing in the end.

When I was in the fourth grade of my studies, I was the type of student who just focused on my academics. I used to tell my mum, “When I grow up, I will buy a good house for you,” and I wanted to be a doctor and help millions of people.

I never forgot to participate in any activities that included sport. I always walked 5 km from home to school. I hated it because, in the way going home or to school during evening time, Emma, a student in the sixth grade could always beat me. Yes, this guy was not the strongest in our school; neither was he stronger than me. In fact, he was even a few inches shorter than me, we had the same weight. What prevented me from getting even mad at him was a 20-pound bag that I carried in my one hand containing my various school books. My mum had taught me to always respect books and to never put them on ground.

Whenever I walked back home, Emma would come from somewhere and push me or pull me hard, and he would quickly run away. Honestly, I was not happy with this kid who was a few inches shorter than me. Many times, I tried to hit him with my bag, but he was too fast for me due to the things I was carrying. I knew I could never catch him when carrying my 20-pound bag full of books. I told my mother about it, but she said that I should not involve myself in any kind of fight at school, and advised me to always walk with someone in my way coming home.

She was sure that Emma would be able to beat me whenever I was alone, but that was not true. She also said that she would complain about Emma to the class teacher during the following parent meeting. Unfortunately, the meeting was a few months away, and I was already tired.

One day, I was walking back to my home with one of my friends Saligoma. Emma came and slapped me on my head and then started running away. I tried to run behind him, and very soon, I gave up after realizing that I could never catch him with the luggage I was carrying. Suddenly, I heard a voice telling me, “Drop the bag, and get him, Ben! Drop the bag and get him, Ben!” I looked around and saw my friend Gatoya. I do not know whether it was for his simple words or from the feeling of revenge. Then, I dropped my bag and chased him. After running 200 m, I caught him and gave him a good BEATING.

He learned a good lesson that day and never troubled me again, but I think it was me who learned the bigger lesson that day.

“Sometimes, we need to throw our books, existing knowledge, our luggage, etc. to free ourselves to face the people who have been kicking us around.

“Sometimes, we need to throw what we are carrying that it is keeping us away from living a life of our dreams.”

My mother told me, “Ben, don’t fear anything you have not tried by yourself. Do not fear anything you have failed once. You must try 50 times, and probably by the 51st attempt, you would know what it takes to win over that fear.”

– The first lesson is, “Your past does not equal your future. You can change your life by taking action right now, and it does not matter where you come from; all that matters is where you want to go. When you know where you want to go, you can take those specific actions that can take you to the destination.”

– “Self-education is more powerful than formal education. The formal education system, as Jim Rohn says, can make you a living, but self-education and lifelong learning can make you a fortune.”

– You cannot do the same things and expect different results; that’s the definition of insanity. If you want to change your life you have to change your situation, you have to break the patterns, and that’s a great lesson that I learned. I cannot blame anybody else but myself if I’m not getting results, and you cannot blame anybody else but yourself if you are not getting results. And the only solution to that is not by blaming, complaining, and crying, but you got to change things. If you don’t change, nothing will change. In other words, if nothing changes nothing changes. You can’t do the same things and expect different results.

– The fourth lesson that I’ve learned is, “To have more than you got you’ve got to become more than you are connected to.” The same point is from a beautiful quote by Jim Rohn which states, “to have more than you got, you got to become more than you are”, which means the more you add value to yourself the more you are growing; that’s going to manifest in your physical world and, of course, internally and externally.

– Number five-lesson, “In every setback, there lies a gift/a lesson to learn and evolve. I learned that lesson every time there was a setback in my life. There was a gift embedded inside that I just needed to be aware of.

Dr. Benjamin Mudaheranwa, PhD